December 2011
2 posts
INFJ
“Counselors have an exceptionally strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others, and find great personal fulfillment interacting with people, nurturing their personal development, guiding them to realize their human potential. Although they are happy working at jobs (such as...
November 2011
1 post
September 2011
2 posts
August 2011
2 posts
cemented thoughts, kind of a bummer.
as in, my thoughts move so slowly from my head as if they were made of cement. i think it’s important for me to get things out once in a while. otherwise i think i’d just keep em all up here, hence beginning the cementation process.
school starts in a few days. i don’t have much desire to go back. i predict a lot of stress in the future. i begin my internship at the mountain...
4 tags
July 2011
3 posts
i guess i really love the sky? more about the sky!
escape
sky wrap me in your tender cerulean comfort and carry me
up and away
into infinity where i could float with arms wide open feeling your color grazing my fingertips your air filling my lungs pure and light hug me tight without constricting hold me and whisper
“everything is going to be okay.”
i’ll believe you because you have witnessed the world...
05.20.08 - a favorite.
my relationship with the sky
you are elusive. no matter how much i reach for you, you move farther away. we can never be close. you would never allow it.
you are difficult to decipher. some days, you’re beautiful carefree
other days, you are monochromatic. apathetically slate blue. your moods are sudden (w)reckless you ruin my day.
...
May 2011
2 posts
4 tags
the littlest things.
the closest thing i’ve written to a poem in forever was a really long text:
i’m thinking about all the little things i love about you, like the way you smell and the shape of your jaw and the color of your eyes. i love running my hand through your hair and watching it ruffle back and forth. i love how soft you are and the smoothness of your skin. i love watching you get dressed after...
the final stretch
M: i only wrote like 1/3 of a page! what am i gonna do?!
J: write a second conclusion. “in conclusion to my conclusion…”
April 2011
3 posts
“Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year...”
– i forgot how much i loved this.
PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE.
am i the only who hateshatesHATES when i keep calling someone, and then one of two things happens:
a) never get contacted back, until finally you’re like WTF and text something along the lines of “uhhh helloooo?” and then like a minute later you get a “hi” or a “what?” UM, get with the program! i’ve been fucking calling you and don’t act like...
woooot woooot!
i had a pleasant day today, aside from forgetting my homework and all my pens/pencils. didn’t have anything to write with, not even a highlighter or a lipstick. i felt bad too cuz i forgot my hw that my kind bf actually helped me out with. he even drew me a picture of a brachiosaurus! now just reeeelaxing with it’s always sunny. i know it’s not exciting at all,...
February 2011
3 posts
life and distance.
a lonely valentine’s day for me.
what sucks about a long-distance relationship: to not be able to do little things with you, like eat or drive or sit down or do nothing.
although, looking at it, it’s not the biggest distance. i still see my boyfriend on weekends, though the amount of time is not nearly satisfactory. i guess it’s just hard trying to recover from that 5-week...
Dear tumblr,
Once upon a time in my life, I wrote. I wrote as much as a person who used to write a lot wrote. Upon careful reinspection, I’ve concluded that I miss writing. I miss my willingness to think about the deepest darkest places of my mind that I currently find too unpleasant to venture through. However, although this is true, hiding doesn’t make thoughts less true. Maybe I’ve been...
January 2011
1 post
August 2010
3 posts
you're fine.
crying is so infuriating. crying because you’re infuriated is even more infuriating! i just wish anger + tears didn’t go hand in hand for me. it’s like, an automatic argument-loser. geh.
dear self (part 2),
you have successfully maneuvered through orientation, picking classes, making your new room more livable, and getting your oil changed. things might be looking up. just remember: remain calm. you can only handle one thing at a time. the world is not against you. the world wants you to be happy.
be happy. please. for your own sake.
dear self,
currently, you are experiencing difficulties. currently, you are stressed out beyond what you think you are capable of handling. currently, your life can just blow and blow hard. and currently, you can sometimes feel hopeless. sometimes you can’t see the big picture. sometimes you feel like you’ve lost focus, lost yourself, and all in all, you just feel loss.
here’s what’s...
July 2010
2 posts
Typed on an iPod touch. How lazy have I gotten?
Jesse & I have decided to take 1.5 steps back into a less intense, less time consuming and less volatile relationship. In short, we basically plan to re-commence being not-boyfriend and not-girlfriend. If that continues fairly well even when I leave for San Jose, we can once again entertain the idea of being fully-fledged.
I don’t know.. I really just dk. We both have issues outside of...
April 2010
1 post
March 2010
2 posts
this never happened before.
just wanna reiterate for future reference the events of last night:
jesse and ronel convince me to go to a random party in green valley. everything’s ho-hum for a while until the alcohol enters the picture. :[
a debated 7 or 10 shots later, i am sloppy. ronel won’t stop dancing. i am talking too loudly. i’m worried about falling into the bonfire. i am sitting on jesse’s...
February 2010
1 post
where'd you get your clothes? the toilet store?
my dad called me and told me to come home 3 times in voicemails. I WAS AT WORK. WTF.
i really am itching to leave again. only a couple more months and i’m outttaaa heee-uh! melanie wants me to move to sac so that she and derrick can move there and then jesse can move there and we can all be one happy half-white/half-filipino family! aw man, i wish, i wish. i’ve been planning for sj,...
January 2010
5 posts
boyfriend.
boyfriend.
boyfriend.
:]
so sad.
i inadvertently became a horrible person.
it’s been very difficult for me to make friends over the past 2 yearsish, and i was finally making headway by opening myself up to the people i work with. like, i could feel myself becoming lighter, happier, and better. i’ve made a few friends, and i made one super awesome friend who later told me that he liked me.. but he still had a...
monkey's out of the bottle.
— if i were to guess, i would say you like me. — HOW DARE YOU? how could you say that when you are so obviously in love with me?!?
direct quote.
i’ve been hanging out with a boy a lot lately. he’s nice and considerate and doesn’t smell bad. we go driving through swamps and eat lots of sushi. he attempts to teach me karate and says when i punch him it hurts as much...
December 2009
5 posts
to do
1. eat a little bit.
2. shower a little bit.
3. sleep a little bit.
4. wake up too early.
5. finish spanish hw.
6. take spanish final.
7. go home.
8. have hair dyed by the wunderful stacey khuu.
9. work for the weekend.
to do or not to do list:
1. i will not let a boy weaken me again.
2. i will not make a boy the center of my universe again.
3. i will do my best to not let my physiological reactions interfere with normal interactions with a boy.
4. i will not let someone walk away from me before i am done talking to him.
5. i will go with my instincts.
6. i will be cool.
7. i will be bold.
8. i will breathe.
9. i will turn on the...
fuck, let me get ahead of myself.
i want so bad to fix you so you can just go ahead and start falling in love with me! but if i’ve learned anything, it’s that you shouldn’t have to fix or complete each other; you should already be whole by yourself. i’m nearing wholeness.
my limerent object is damaged goods.
THIS IS ALL IRRELEVANT. MOVE ALONG, PLZ. NOTHING TO SEE.
fml x1928.
November 2009
4 posts
i very seriously think i am going to throw up because of all the stress i am currently experiencing.
someone throw me a life jacket, please!!!!
“Limerence is characterized by intrusive thinking and pronounced sensitivity to...”
– i’m in trouble. intense joy, extreme despair: only two of my favorite emotions.
“You can’t accept love? Love—the most beautiful, shining, warmy thing in the...”
– Knocked Up, 2007 (via jmaeee)
September 2009
3 posts
remembering the 21st night of septembers past
2006: recovering from seniors homecoming float.
2007: leave for ucsc.
2008: break up with boyfriend.
2009: attend therapy.
there was almost no dancing these past 4 years.
i finally took you off my top12, you stupid fucker. ohhh yeah.
myspace is irrelevant, anyhow.
my life is in a nutshell.
here’s my life for the past couple weeks or so in noun form:
shop, eat, asparagus, cupcakes, target, sleep, class, drive, mop, tru calling, dresses, flight of the conchords, denim, animal sweaters, laugh, text, nap, tylenol, calcium, harry potter, air conditioning, edward norton, clive owen, dvds, corduroy blazers, fitting rooms, money, headlights, paychecks, soft pretzels, anxiety, worry,...
August 2009
2 posts
i can’t effing believe joseph gordin-levitt worked at a greeting card company. as is common knowledge, having that job has been my dream since junior year. get out of my brain, world!
July 2009
3 posts
julie mae
was in the shower. now she’s searching for undergarments, i think. esther was evil.
we had a mini photoshoot, and i was uploading the pictures onto her comp (which is where i am typing this). after the pics uploaded, i didn’t know where they uploaded to, so i was rooting around in her files, until i stumbled upon a certain file named after a certain someone from a certain era (or...
“The best way out is through.”
– whoever made this up was pretty witty and clever. maybe i’ll adopt it as my new mantra. ho hummmm.