this never happened before.
just wanna reiterate for future reference the events of last night:
jesse and ronel convince me to go to a random party in green valley. everything’s ho-hum for a while until the alcohol enters the picture. :[
a debated 7 or 10 shots later, i am sloppy. ronel won’t stop dancing. i am talking too loudly. i’m worried about falling into the bonfire. i am sitting on jesse’s lap. “i love you, and i am not just saying that because i am completely trashed.” i am being carried to the bathroom. i am definitely barfing my guts out. jesse’s holding my hair back, my elbows are falling into the toilet. the toilet smells like urine, but i really don’t care; i lay my head on it anyway. we are sitting in the bathroom for an alleged two hours. i spill my bottle of water twice, refuse a bagel, and can only communicate in grunts, moans, and gurgling noises. somewhere along the line, i am carried to the car. i am holding a garbage bag, which ronel steals from me and commences vomiting. i need to vomit too but i breathe through it ‘cause there’s only one bag. “jessebear, please be careful” and “slow down” are all i can say on the way home. i guess ronel gets dropped off. jesse helps me up the stairs. i sweep everything off my bed and dive in. i am freezing my ass off and my teeth are chattering. he covers me with 2 blankets and i beg him to stay. “i don’t even care what’ll happen if you’re still here in the morning.” he says, “you’re gonna remember what a good boyfriend i am.” i pass out.
i wake up at 5am and tentatively call out into the darkness: “jesse?” no answer. i roll off the bed, disoriented. a square of light on the ground catches my attention; my phone is charging. a text: “i left your key under you doormat. call me when you wake up. i love you.” i retrieve the key, make a few calls, and eat nutella toast.
i said some terrible things last night apparently. “don’t rape me, ‘cause i’ll tell everybody!” and right before i started to throw up: “i hope you love me more than ana.” plus more, but those are my favorites.
the bag of vomit was still in my car all of today.
