cemented thoughts, kind of a bummer.
as in, my thoughts move so slowly from my head as if they were made of cement. i think it’s important for me to get things out once in a while. otherwise i think i’d just keep em all up here, hence beginning the cementation process.
school starts in a few days. i don’t have much desire to go back. i predict a lot of stress in the future. i begin my internship at the mountain view community services agency in the alpha omega homeless services program on september 6, and i don’t really know what to expect. i suppose i expect to learn a lot, but i’m very scared that i don’t know enough. i’m afraid that i’m gonna be in over my head. i can’t just skirt by like i normally do like this is just some easy A class. i need to dedicate myself to this task.. i need to really be like a sponge and just learn as much as i can from it. hopefully this reaffirms that i made the right choice in changing my major, hopefully i don’t mess up.
i am not looking forward to the same balancing act i did last semester. i was just too busy and too stressed that i would basically freak out at the drop of a hat. that’s why i dread leaving this summer behind so much.. it was so chill and stress-free. i literally did nothing but hang out all summer. and now.. back to reality? meh.
:|
what can i do to change this world? i see so much wrong with just how people treat others, how the underprivileged get knocked down so hard and taken advantage of by the wealthy, how the environment is polluted and dirty with all the fruits of greed and ignorance, and i just notice a general disregard and selfishness by people who care about nothing but themselves and the present. i try so hard to do my part, to be nice and kind to whomever (deserved or not), to care about this environment, to spread kindness and compassion and knowledge, and i’ve chosen to dedicate my career to trying to help as many people as i can, yet i see no end in sight to the injustices we face everyday just by living in our day and age. i can talk about it all i want, but that’s not what our generation wants. we want reality tv, and snooki, and skecher’s shape-ups, and starbucks, and twitter, and iphones, and all this bullshit we’ve been fed to blind us to the things that really matter, and it makes me… angry and sad for us. i wish people would take the time to notice what really happens in this world, and to think about something other than whatever mtv wants to throw at us.
don’t get me wrong, i love keeping up with the kardashians, and mac make-up, and celebrity magazines, but i don’t really feel a part of this generation. i don’t have a smart phone, and i don’t want one. i don’t want to check-in at every restaurant i go to. i don’t want to tweet my every little thought from my refrigerator (no lie, i saw one do this at best buy yesterday). i don’t want to read a book off a kindle. i don’t want a tablet that does everything my ipod already does. i just don’t. want. any. of it.
whatever happened to simplicity? why do i need to read books off a kindle? aren’t books portable already? why would you need multiple portable books when you can only read one at a time anyway? whatever happened to calling someone just to talk? or talking at all? i feel like texting and social networking is basically ruining human connection/relationships. your friend count on facebook is a lie; those people aren’t your friends. all this social media is just a caricature of real relationships. i see people glued to their phones, completely ignoring the person sitting across from them, and it annoys the shit out of me. why can’t people talk to the people they’re with anymore? who do you need to be texting while in the company of others? it’s just rude.
ugh. all these bad thoughts.. i don’t know why i never used to be so.. cynical? i’m not, though. i feel like all these thoughts are justified, and i feel like the things i want for this world and for my peers are just generally what everyone wants. we all want this world to be great, so why do we treat each other and the environment like shit?
